Conclusion

 

So, Dr. Levy, tell us what you really think.

            Despite all my sarcasm and regardless of the fact that no religion anywhere has a belief system that is real, my conclusion is that we should all be doing religion. 

            I often hear people say, "I don't believe in organized religion but I do believe in god."

            I respond, "I don't believe in god but I do believe in organized religion."

            When I say this to someone they usually get a funny look on their face and don't seem to understand.  To them, god is so obviously real and religions are always in the news doing bad things.  To me, the belief in something for which there is no evidence, or what we call "faith," is not an honorable way to think.  There is no evidence that god, Jesus, Mohamed, or Moses exist now or have ever existed in the past.  However, despite the frequent news stories there is a preponderance of evidence to suggest that "religious behavior" in homo sapiens is something that leads to happiness, health, and longer life.  I think that most people who are religious are not zealots and have at least half a foot in reality while they enjoy and benefit from the fantasy world of religion. I got no problem with that.

            I choose to be a Russian Orthodox Christian because it is the only religion that my wife is comfortable doing.  Also, it has more pomp and ceremony and is more beautiful than any other religion I have seen.  If I go to church with her then no one asks me if I am a true believer or not.  I don't have to pretend that I believe any of the dogma.  I get to tag along with her and I am part of the group.  And I can eat my fill of blini and borsch!  Plus, I really like Fr. Boris.

            I would probably have a difficult time going to church without her.  If I went to an Episcopal church or to a reform temple, which were the places I went as a child, I would have to fake my belief.  I am not very good at being fake. 

            My extended family on my mom's side is mostly Methodist.  When I had children I took them to the local Methodist church.  I was doing pretty well there before I met my current wife.  You don't really have to believe in anything except coffee and doughnuts to be a Methodist.

            I'm not suggesting that you pretend to believe things that you clearly don't believe.  The thing of it is ... is, there I go again, anyways ... the thing of it is ... is that I am quite certain there is a group somewhere that believes exactly the same bullshit that you believe.  Just find that group and join it and be happy being a human.

            Hey, I have an idea.  Perhaps Lewis Black and I can round up three or four more like-minded individuals and start a group.  We can get together and smoke Arturo Fuente Hemingway cigars and drink Talisker 57 north Scotch whiskey and make off color jokes and bitch about stuff.  Our complex collective thought will be that logic is a good thing.  We will rigidly believe that logic is a good thing and totally ignore all the millions of people on this planet who prove us wrong.    

            Hmmmm, I wonder what we will call ourselves?  How about the "smoking drunks."  No, that's pretty dumb.  I know, the "logical funny whiskey reality guys."  No, well ... hmmm ... OK, I got it.  "The Black Balls."  Get it?  We have Lewis Black and we aren't afraid of saying anything to anybody so we got balls.  What do you think?  Well, we don't have to decide this right now.

            Actually, there is another religion that I belong to and I am a glassy eyed true believer.  They have a wonderful cathedral that is called Coors Field.  The builder of this cathedral makes a very special and unique holy water for all to drink.  We share a complex collective belief that we will share the golden flags in a life beyond the grassy field.

 

 

World Series Trophy

 

            Finally, even the smartest guys in the world get together and believe dumb things.  Take Einstein and his buddies for example.  They created a new religion because they felt that the old Newtonian way was not enough.  They believed in a universe that was "eternal and unchanging."  They spent their entire neurotic lives together doing their "relatively" unique religion.  Then, they rejected an even newer religion that claimed "randomness and chaos" were supreme beings.  Many of the complex collective thoughts that Einstein and his followers believed turned out to be piles of crap.  But they lived happy and healthy lives believing these things.  

 

 

Solvay Conference 1927

And, of course, in their graves they still believe that they were right and you are wrong! 

 

Table of Contents

  

post script- You know, everything that is doctrinally Christian is also fundamentally intellectual.  The Christians figured out all the asinine ways that our brains are programmed and then created religious dogma that said, "Do the opposite of that." 

                I know that Christians usually blow off this instruction and simply act like humans.  So, Fr. Boris and I are really on the same page in that we are hopelessly trying to get everyone to stop being human.  We want them to live up to a little higher standard. 

                If skeptics can see past the silly stories and appreciate the instructions on how to live life in this sort of anti-human way, then I think they would see that maybe having Christian ideals is not that bad of an idea.