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Is Barry Bonds a Moron or an Asshole

Copyright 2007
      Notice how the title of this editorial is not, “Did Barry Bonds use steroids?” If the answer to that question is not obvious to you then you may not be an asshole but I'm sorta thinking...mo-ron>. 

      In the case of Barry Bonds, the moron theory could apply since he did not need steroids in order to be one of the game’s premier sluggers. In fact, most steroid users are players who are on the bubble of even making a team. Although I don’t condone steroid use under any circumstances, it's easier to understand if the alternative is a lifetime membership in the United Sanitation Worker's of America.

     Here is what I would like to say to Bonds, "Barry…think for a minute…If you break a record that you know was due to steroid use, are you going to die feeling that you really accomplished something great?  In the best case scenario, you will be doomed to die smirking at how you managed to deceive everyone. Do you really want to walk around and have people look at you and think great things and all the time you know how much you fooled them? What is the point?"

      No, I think Bonds is not a moron. In fact, and most likely, I think he is pretty intelligent. I think his scheme was to gain fame that could be parlayed into financial gain. I don’t think he cares about personal satisfaction. Therefore, I’m going with the asshole theory.

      Just so you understand the actual statistics, Barry Bonds spent six seasons in Pittsburg where he averaged 528.5 at bats/year and 26.67 home runs with a range of 19-33. After arriving in the Bay Area, where he spent 12 seasons, his at bats/year decreased to 459.5 and yet his home runs increased to 43.91 with a range of 33-73. In other words, he reduced his average number of at bats per year by 69 and increased his average number of home runs per year by 17.24. And he did this as he was aging past what you would think would have been his prime.

      I think that the stats speak for themselves. Barry Bonds got bigger and stronger in his 30’s compared to when he was in his 20’s.

      Oh yeah, I left out the freak of nature theory. Certainly, he could just be a freak of nature. Yes, let’s just go with the freak of nature theory and leave it at that.

     And he's an asshole.